Hamlet: ACT III, SCENE I *paraphrased*

ACT III, SCENE 1. A room in the castle. (PART C)

OPHELIA
My lord, I have memories of you,
That I wish to give to you
Please, take them

HAMLET
No, not me
I never gave you anything

OPHELIA
My honored lord, you very well know you have;
And, with them, your sweet, romantic words,
Has made the memories more rich, although fading
Take these letters; they have lost their value to me

HAMLET
HA, HA! Are you sincere?

OPHELIA
Excuse me?

HAMLET
Are you beautiful?

OPHELIA
What do you mean?

HAMLET
That if you are sincere, your honesty
should give no approach to your beauty.

OPHELIA
So could beauty and honesty be related?

HAMLET
Sure, since beauty's power can easily
change a decent girl into a whore,
than the power of decency can change
a beautiful girl into something pure.
This used to be a great puzzle to me,
but time has solved it. I loved you once.

OPHELIA
At least you led me to believe you did.

HAMLET
You shouldn't have believed me,
no matter how hard we try to be virtuous.
I never loved you.

OPHELIA
I have been deceived

HAMLET
Get yourself to a nunnery at once.
Why would you produce more sinners like yourself?
I'm fairly good myself, however,
I could accuse myself of such horrible crimes
that it would've been better if my mother
had never given birth to me.
I am conceited, vengeful, and ambitious,
with more bad thoughts in me than
I can fit into my own head, and more
than I have time to carry it out in.
Why should people like me be creeping around
between earth and heaven?
Every one of us is a criminal.
Don't believe any of us.
Get yourself to a nunnery.
Where's your father?

OPHELIA
He’s home

HAMLET
Lock him in, so he can play the fool
in his own home only. Good bye.

OPHELIA
Please, God, help him!

HAMLET
I have heard, well enough, of the makeup you wear
God gave you one face and you paint over it:
You dance and lisp and blame your maliciousness on ignorance.
I’ll have no more of this. It’s making me mad.
I say there should be no more marriages:
All those who are married already, but one, shall
Stay married. The ones that aren’t will never marry,
Get yourself to a nunnery.